Is Your Relationship With Yourself Holding You Back?
I remember as a child hearing adults talk about the concept of time passing quickly as you age. This felt so irrelevant to me until I grew older.
Children are so innocent and hold so much hope for their futures. Why is it that as we age we begin to shut down our inspired ideas and tell ourselves we aren’t good enough?
Before we know it, we are wishing we had pushed to achieve those big dreams we once held. Time is so precious and yet we so freely watch it pass us by. We can live a life without regret and truly achieve almost anything we want but yet we still continue to hold back.
Ask yourself this: What would you accomplish if bad ideas didn’t exist, there were no such thing as setbacks, and you could not be judged by others or yourself? Would you live your life in a different way?
At 18, I had an inspired dream of one day being a writer but was shut down when my TA in university handed me back my first essay sporting a D. I took this bad mark personally and assumed that if I truly were a good writer I would have gotten an A on the assignment. I didn’t believe in my abilities or myself enough to deflect criticism and as a result I let myself believe I was not good enough to write again for years!
The truth is, everyone will have an opinion on you but the only one that will truly derail your positive plans is the person looking back at you in the mirror. Whether your dreams involve being a CEO or losing the last ten pounds you will never be able to achieve it unless you believe in yourself.
When I began fixing the relationship I had with myself I started picking up things I had once told myself to drop because I wasn’t good enough to do them. If I had let those negative thoughts about my writing style affect me forever I would have never been confident enough to start this blog!
Be willing and able to stick up for your goals when another person challenges them. Self assurance in my opinion is a skill that is so often under looked. If you can stand up for yourself and quiet the negative self talk you will be surprised at all the things you begin to accomplish.
Time goes quickly and your goals will fade with it, take the reigns on your life. Begin to challenge the relationship you have with yourself.
Ditch the ego
One of my all time favorite quotes reads “Fall seven times, stand up eight” I promise that at various points in your life you are destined fail. But remember that with every failure we gain this incredible ability to grow stronger than we were before. No one is perfect and everyone struggles! The secret is, to never give up and learn from every mistake. I promise that one day you will stand up and be stronger then you ever thought possible.
Be kind to yourself
Speak to yourself and about yourself as though you are speaking about your best friend. When you build up the respect you hold for yourself, it will be easier to value your self worth and be more confident in your ability to see your goals through.
Control your thoughts
Sometimes it is hard to stop your mind from spiraling into negative thoughts especially when you are taking risks. Try learning techniques that “get you out of your head”
- Talk your doubts out with a friend
- Try writing negative thoughts in a diary to get them out. Sometimes putting worries on paper allows us to let go as they feel heard.
- Meditate! This is one of the best ways to learn how to “be present” and gain total control over your mind.
Tip: Head space is a great app for beginners, it includes 10 free 10-minute guided meditation sessions. You will never regret the time you spend doing this.
Go shot for shot with positivity
Challenge (it won’t always be easy!) every negative thought that enters your mind with a positive one. This has worked wonders for me in stopping a downward “negative self talk day” dead in it’s tracks.
We show love to others through compliments. Why do we forgo doing this for ourselves? A daily affirmation is a great reminder to yourself of how capable you really are. I choose a different affirmation and document in daily in my journal. I have written things like:
- You have infinite possibilities
- You are strong
- You are capable
I would love to hear from YOU! Comment below on how you have been able to improve your relationship with yourself. If you try any of these tips, let me know how they went.